Well, I thought about it and I decided that I needed to post at least on the holidays.. So here I am on the first. Today was a very interesting day, after talking between the two of us, Cody and I decided that we would wait and celebrate Valentines on the weekend when the restaurants weren't packed with people trying to celebrate as well. So as far as gifts, we are exchanging those later tonight.. I can't say what I got cody just in case he reads this before I give it to him! Today I have had a lot of mixed emotions. I know it is supposed to be a day of love and I was thinking about all the things that I really had love for. Things like my artistic abilities, and the chance I have to have a family and be sealed to my eternal mate. I felt so blessed.
However, despite the wonder that I felt for the blessings that never cease to flow for me, I had to stop and think about people who are struggling and those who can't see the blessings in front of them. I thought mostly about my little brother. Recently, while serving a mission in Ohio, he has had some struggles. He was made a trainer and was so excited to see what would happen and watch a new missionary learn from himself. He got a new companion and went to work. He was in a new area, which is tough due to the fact that you don't know much about the people and the work in the area, but he was determined to make things work. He pushed the elder to exhaustion and really shared his whole soul with this elder to make things work. About 2 weeks into being with him, he got a call from the president. His companion had been writing home to his family asking them to come and get him that he didn't want to serve any longer. Matson was crushed. I have never heard him so upset and distraught. He followed the instructions that the Mission president gave him and continued onward. About a week later, the companion approached him and told him that he was having thoughts of suicide and that he didn't know if he could stop them. After much thought and prayer with the other elders in the home (another companionship) they chose to take turns watching him at night to make sure nothing was followed through with. They did this for a few days, on a Sunday upon returning home from church and visiting contacts, his companion had a 'moment' and went nuts. He punched a hole in the wall and collapsed on the floor. Matson held him down and told him that he had two options, the first was to pull himself together and start to give his whole heart and soul to the work or second get sent home. He calmed down, but they decided to call the mission president any ways. After discussing with the mission president they decided that he would be sent home and the next day he was sent home. Since then Matson joined the other two elders he lives with in a trio. The last few weeks I haven't heard from him, but from what my mom has said he sounds so depressed and disheartened. I know that there is a reason for him to have that elder, whether he will find the reason now or later, but I couldn't help but think how he must be feeling on this day of love.
Needless to say, this has been a day of love and grateful feelings in my heart followed with compassion for those who are suffering or don't feel the love that is always with them. If nothing, I hope that people take a moment and really think about what they love on this Valentines day. There are plenty of things to love and be grateful for.
hApPy vAlEnTiNeS!
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